The girl I don't want to be

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Look at that girl- she seems to know everything.
She must be so smart.
There's no way she could have anything but straight As- I wish I could get those grades.
Look at her over there in  Debate.
She must be so confident about herself.
Look at her laughing over there.
She must be so happy.
Look at her volunteering over here.
She must care so much- her resume is gonna look amazing.
Listen to her jokes- she's so funny.
Look at her smile- it could never be anything but fake.
She must be the luckiest girl in the world.
What could ever be wrong?
Here's what I don't know about her.
That girl thinks she's so ugly- she just wishes she could be prettier.
That girl is lying about her grades- she's far from smart and thinks she's dumb.
That girl has anxiety attacks in Debate and hates herself when she can't do well.
That girl's laugh is fake, fake like the facade she builds to keep others out of her dark side.
That girl can't stop caring about everyone but her and just wants the hurt to stop.
That girl hates her own jokes.
That girl's smile hasn't been real in ages.
That girl would actually do anything to get out of her own life because she hates it so much.
That girl is me. I lost both sides of her a long time ago.
Now- she's nothing but a broken girl.
With friends and family who love her facade dearly,
But would probably run away if they saw the real her.
After all, she's the luckiest girl in the world, right?
What they don't know?

That facade is the girl I don't want to be.

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